Monday, January 12, 2009 @6:42 PM
i feel like an idiot right now.
i got my history test back today.
trust me, it wasn't pretty. at all.
despite the fact that it was better than my last test,
it was still crap.
i tried to make myself feel better by reminding myself i don't need history 12 for university.
but staring at a seventy percent is just..
terrifying.
and listening to everyone else complain about their pretty A's didn't help.
the worst part about it was that i actually tried to study.
i really did, i highlighted my text and although that doesn't seem like a lot
it was a lot for me, it was a freaking huge effort. especially for history.
well, maybe history is just not my subject.
but then again, what IS my subject?
i always believed everyone had at least one subject they were totally superior in, if not all.
and right now, i can't find that one subject.
my chem mark, which i actually need for university, is averaging a seventy three percent? and depending on my future crap labs and tmrw's test, which i will get a 60%, it might go up. or most likely, down.
my physics mark. do i even have a freaking physics mark right now?
oh right, my last crap lab. AND the lab i'm going to do on wed.
and i always thought i was good at physics. except..
english and lit. zag hates me. end of story.
my calculus mark. i dunno, i got ninety in term 1? but i'm not even bothering to listen in ward's lectures.
my math mark is the only one i'm content with, and the one i don't worry about. at all.
i'm not that worried about getting into app sci in ubc because their average requirements are seventies. which i actually have.
but it's really dissatisfying to see all these low marks.
and my perspective on marks turned totally non-asian.
i'm supposedly taking a break from reading chem and attempting to do solubility calculations.
which i can't do.
which means my chem mark is freaking dead.
i feel like i never have enough time.
but a friend was asking me why in the world do i always not have time
i don't study.
i don't do homework.
i don't even have math to worry about.
i only have one prov in jan that i'm not even bothering to study for.
what the hell is wrong with me?